


The Rich Man's Annoyance

by Fuzztacular



Series: Hung Up on Haiku [2]
Category: Devil May Cry
Genre: Gen, Vergil is So Done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-06
Updated: 2019-08-06
Packaged: 2020-08-10 12:24:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20135419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fuzztacular/pseuds/Fuzztacular
Summary: Vergil was hoping he wouldn't hear another haiku for a very long while, but he just couldn't seem to catch a break.





	The Rich Man's Annoyance

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ririsu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ririsu/gifts).

Vergil was slightly exasperated at the reawakening of the voices that had taken up residency in his mind. He had first heard them bickering after he had been reformed inside the Qliphoth, though he never showed any outward signs of hosting the two opposing halves of his being. His human portion, V, had grown stronger than Vergil had ever allowed while the demonic counterpart, Urizen, had pursued such a result only to be beaten down and ultimately defeated. He viewed their presence as a punishment for separating his halves and erecting the accursed tree. For fear of sounding insane, he allowed them to be the angel and devil on his shoulders seeing as he had no idea how to silence them now that they gained their sentience. 

As he sat down at the dining table with Dante and his mate, Nico, Nero, Kyrie, and their collection of orphans, he mentally evaluated his appearance, double checking that no proof of his distraction peeked through his mask of indifference. All throughout dinner and the rest of the evening, he attempted to ignore the soft whispers, finding the task easier when he concentrated on the flow of conversation around him rather than within him. However, once the night was concluded with the Yamato being employed to return the visiting trio to the Devil May Cry main building, he found evading his duality of conscience to be a Sisyphean task. He finally admitted defeat and mentally acknowledged them. ‘What is it now? What was so important you couldn’t leave me in peace for any portion of the evening?’

The low dulcet tone of V replied.

‘I’d like to join in.

Indulging in poetry

Helps sharpen the mind.’

Vergil let out a sigh and slumped into his bed in abject acceptance. He had learned quickly that once V decided on something he would pester and wheedle until he got his wish.

‘Doing this again?

I wish you wouldn’t bother.

Why torment me so?’

The man could almost feel the smirk radiating from his human half as he replied.

‘Weary is the soul

Who does not challenge himself.

The mind is power.’

Before Vergil could respond, V pressed his attack.

‘It is cathartic.

You burden our mind so much.

Allow this relief.’

The much harsher rasping voice of his literal inner demon spoke up next.

‘You worthless human,

Only power cures all things.

Purge all emotion.’

V fired back immediately against his rival.

‘And yet it was you

Who sought power but still lost.

How embarrassing.’

Practically vibrating in rage, Urizen growled.

‘We’re stuck in limbo.

Killing you should be easy,

Somehow you’re still here.’

They were at each other’s throats again. Vergil repressed his exasperated groan.

‘Just leave me alone.

You are both worse than Dante’s

Oafish company.’

V didn’t seem nearly as offended as he had hoped.

‘I am not an oaf.

And we are still part of you,

O Son of Sparda.’

Vergil remained silent at the slight chastisement.

‘Will you not attempt

To pose a challenge for me?

Our intellects match.’

The devil hunter finally deigned to respond.

‘If I should agree,

I fail to see benefit

For myself or you.’

V’s smirk was back with that.

‘Wager could be made

If an incentive you seek.

You will have my word.’

Pausing, Vergil considered his options. Winning would be worth the hassle if he could get V to remain silent for a while. Urizen only bothered him when his human half was boisterous. What would V even want if he were victorious? Vergil had made his decision regardless. 

‘That would be foolish.

We have no impartial judge.

No winner prevails.’

V hummed in acquiescence.

‘I concede your point.

There would not have been an end.

You’d have been bested.’

Seeing through his trap to goad him into the competition, Vergil cleanly side stepped it.

‘You cannot fool me.

I’ll not stoop to play your games.

You should give up now.’

Finally relenting, V gave his warning.

‘Don’t think I’ll drop it.

But, perhaps another day

Would be suitable.’

It was exhausting to have two other entities residing in one’s head. Vergil was done for the day.

‘That is quite enough.

I’ve indulged you far too long.

Allow me my rest.’

Urizen chose that moment to share his opinion on the matter.

‘Sleep is for the weak.

It is not something you need.

You can go without.’

V found he could empathize with their vessel. He remembered how burdensome life on the outside could be.

‘Let him have his rest.

We are still stuck together.

His needs are ours too.’

V’s words did nothing to put the elder son of Sparda at peace. This dichotomy was sure to tear his mind asunder, Vergil was convinced. But alas, that would have to be a problem solved another day. Mentally drained, he allowed himself to fully relax, sinking into the comforting embrace of his bedding and soon enough the sweet release of sleep.


End file.
